Monday, December 16, 2013

The "Dumb Husband" and the Cookies: A Life Lesson Learned

There are a lot of family dynamics and stereotypes on television today. My husband generally doesn't give much thought to things like that, as he generally avoids any "family dramas/comedies" that were made after The Fresh Prince of Bel Air went off the air. But, there is one particular family related stereotype that sends my husband on a rant whenever he happens to see it: the stereotype of the "dumb husband". The "dumb husband" can be seen in commercials turning on the blender sans the lid and looking horrifyingly bewildered while the contents of the blender come rocketing out. Generally it would be at this moment where the condescending (if not slightly smug) wife comes in, smiles, and shakes her head at her dumb husband. Inevitably the wife ends up cleaning the mess while we can only assume the husband goes to put on a helmet.
Well, last night I wanted to watch something on T.V. that my husband doesn't like, in fact he T.V. shames me for watching (it's Lifetime's "Witches of East End". Don't judge me). While heading back to our bedroom to watch my show I just so happened to mention, once or twice, that I was craving my favorite Christmas cookies but was in no mood to bake. Around the holidays all I seem to do is bake, and I almost never get to eat the fruits of my labor. There is nothing as frustrating as being surrounded by the sweet, sweet baked goods that only come out at Christmas time and not getting to eat them.
 Anywho, during a commercial break I went into the kitchen to get some water only to find my husband in the very early stages of making cookie dough. Of course I mouthed the "oh, you don't have to do that!" and "I could have waited, you shouldn't go through all that trouble" while I was secretly super pleased. "You're such a sweetheart" said the spider to the fly before I went back into the bedroom to finish my show. When I came back out of our bedroom I heard furtive whispering "...crap! Hurry, we need to clean this up or Mommy is going to make fun of us." A sense of morbid curiosity compelled me to enter the kitchen to find my toddler on a step-stool, my husband desperately trying to stir the very crumbly cookie dough, and my stove top covered in flour and bits of Andes mints.
 Liam's making his "CHEESE!!!!" face


"I AM NOT THE DUMB HUSBAND!" was the first thing out of my husband's mouth. "I refuse to perpetrate that stereotype. REFUSE!" After I got done laughing, and reassuring him that the cookie dough was supposed to look like that, I helped him clean up his "little helper" who had so kindly helped to stir the dough and in the process give everything in a 3 foot radius a fine dusting of flour. As amused as I was, I had to reassure him. "You're not the dumb husband. You're the husband who now understands how hard it is to get any cooking or baking done when you have a 'little helper'". I mean,  you try making 6-8 dozen more cookies while Liam the Flour-Fiend maniacally laughs while he "helps" you "stir" the dough, batter, or whatever it is you're mixing.
Later that night as I munched on some very delicious cookies that I didn't have to bake, I chuckled to myself and had to wonder...why didn't he just use our Kitchen Aid stand mixer? It's not like it's a blender, which we all know husbands can't operate without loss of life or limb. But, it is something that can mix dough without making a mess and still entertain a "helper" who likes to flip the switch. Either way, a life lesson was learned and I got delicious baked goods that I did not have to produce. Win/win.